Hello friends and welcome to another blog where I will share with you my top 5 lifestyle strategies for successful single parenting. As some of your may know, I have been single parenting for 14 years now and have learnt a thing or two along the way, so these tips ought to help you along your way. Grab a cup, take some notes, and squeeze from it what you can.
Lets get started . . .
Each of us know that being a single parent really takes its toll mentally, emotionally and physically, so I have put these tips together to help you get the best out of your journey, that I have learnt from mine.
1. Exercise
There has never been a better time to get your ass moving. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it’s all in the structuring and time management. And, these days with youtube and apps, working out is so easy and often a pretty quick practice. Personally, I use HIIT apps on my phone, which gives me a solid 20-30 minute workout, I also go to the gym twice a week doing a HIIT class and a boxing class. And while you may think the app workouts aren’t long, trust me, you will be begging for mercy after the first five minutes. It’s gunna be good for you!!!
If you find that’s too much, there are plenty of 7-10 minute workouts you can tackle or just go for a run or a walk. It’s really important to your overall health as a single parent to be strong, fit, healthy and be able to keep up with everything that you are juggling. It also gets you out of your own head!
Feeling fit and strong is one of the best ways of all. It clears your mind and allows you to work out your frustrations, get things out of your system, pushing you to new limits, clears the fog, shows you what you are capable of and gives you such a feeling of pride in yourself. It’s my number one thing for single parents to maintain!! Healthy mind, Healthy body.
One of my go to workout apps is 7M WOMEN (iOS)
2. Downtime
Sit on that couch and mooch! Now I know this might sound like a complete contradiction from my number one of exercise, but it is just as important. As single parents, we do a lot. Let me just say that again . . . we do ALOT! So, it’s really important to allow yourself time for rest, quiet the mind, allow the body to slow down so you don’t burn out. Which can be very common for single parents. Listen to some music, watch something you really enjoy, do some craft you enjoy, write your blog, meditate . . . completely guilt free, it is a must, a necessary requirement for single parents to get downtime and relax. Your body and your mind need to restore and taking downtime for yourself will allow you space and time to get your thoughts in order. This includes getting enough sleep each night.
Allow your cup to runneth over with all the things you love and enjoy with your downtime. If you are stuggling to find room for your downtime, then I suggest you plan and promise. Yes, plan out an hour if that’s all you can spare, and pencil it on your calendar. Promise yourself that that is your time.
Because I work fulltime and away from the home, I find that in the evenings or on weekend work best for me. And because my daughter is in her teens now and more independent, doing her own thing, there is more time to myself. However, if you are a SAHM then possibly when the kids are napping or at daycare would be ideal for you to take your downtime. The house work can wait. Plan and Promise!
3. Passion
This has been a bit of a tough one for me. I have never ‘found’ my passion, but I think passion for me is always developing in the multiple things I like to do. Some people have ‘something’ in particular they are incredibly passionate about and make it their life or career. I don’t have that (yet). But regardless, the point is to find something you enjoy doing and do it often. No matter what it is. Something that gives you a sense of joy. Myself, I enjoy writing, gardening, baking and creating.
As a single parent with a cup either overflowing, or just a little too empty, having something that brings you joy in the moment is precious and can be the thing that just keeps you going. I also love to read quotes. Every time I read a quote that means something to me, I reflect, I contemplate, I imagine, and it can take me to another place and help build my dreams. It brings me joy and I feel passion when I do it. So, it can be anything, it doesn’t have to be moving mountains or building cities, but let it be yours, just for you. Something that stirs you on the inside.
And if you don’t know what that is, that’s ok. You can try out lots of different things and bring a smile to your face, a little bit of joy to your heart and you just might feel that spark of passion while you are trying something new. That feeling, when something excites you, the adrenaline, the possibility, the feeling of connecting with something that touches a part of your soul, it ignites you. That my friend, is passion!
4. Social Interaction
Yes I am well aware that this one can be really hard for some single parents, and parents in general at times. Between rangling kids, running them around, working, keeping house, there is little time for a social life. And it’s true, often there is little time at the end of the day, you are feeling exhausted and don’t want to talk to anyone. But you must! Keep the connection open with family, volunteer to help out with your elderly community, build friendships with the people you work with. Connection keeps the soul humming.
All too often, loneliness leads to depression, feelings of isolation can lead to hopelessness. It can seem like a real struggle when you are in the thick of feeling this way, but through building bridges with others, you can be there to support and help each other. Strength in numbers, as they say, the human species is designed to interact and be social, keeping your connection alive.
Then there are times when even that feels too much, I know, I’ve been there. But, I have found that the best way to pull yourself out of a funk in this case, is to help someone else. Give of yourself, support another, share your knowledge, your feelings. Someone will benefit from what you have to offer and you will feel all the better for giving light to someone elses life.
Now, if you are a little more adventurous then getting outdoors, joining groups, community schemes, even getting to know your neighbours are great ways to feel involved and a part of something bigger than yourself.
5. Self-Care
This one can be a real delight. Everyone needs self-care in different ways and there are so many options when it comes to soothing the soul. My favourites are long hot baths in winter, listening to my favourite music, taking time to daydream with a cup of tea, and learning from others wisdom/self development. These are the things that bring me back to myself. Self-care is about taking care of your temple, the most precious thing you have. Without it, you would still be in spirit.
Having a space in your home that is yours, and yours alone. This is all part of caring for the self. Create a space that when you walk into it, or sit in it, everything else drops away. A space where your dreams are big and everything is possible. For me, its my office. I have made a pact with myself, that when I cross the threshold of the doorway, nothing else exist, no outside work, no stress, no negativity, none of that. This space, my space, is a place where I create the world I want to live in, where I get the chance to feel what its like to live in my created world. And I will continue to do this until the day I walk back across that threshold and it is what I believed.
So, we all need a space, a place to believe we can be anything we want to be, that gives you peace. Find a space, make it yours.
Another huge part of self-care is nutrition. That beautiful temple of yours needs to be nourished. Fill your body with as many health foods as you can, and if that means you need to research, read, learn, then do it! You lead a busy life, and you need the energy to keep going because burning out comes really quickly when you don’t pay attention to your diet. Wholesome foods, herbs and spices, fresh is best as much as you can. This can be fun and great for the kids to learn about, especially if you have your own vegie patch or trips to your local markets for fresh produce. All of this is taking care of your temple.
Whilst I know a lot of what I have talked about seems like common sense, but as single parents we sometimes need that gentle reminder that we are human too, that we need care aswell, we need love, that we may be strong but we are not invincible and need to take care of ourselves. So, I write to remind you to take care of you first, then others (or the other way around if it feels right for you), your wellbeing is important and my hope is the five strategies I’ve shared here remind you of that. Go well my friend . . .
Until next time . . .
Justustwo xox