I decided at the tender age of 40 that’s it’s time to start living the life I imagine in my head. This is something I have been doing for a long time . . . living it inside my head that is! It’s kind of like having a double life. How I live day to day in the grind of everything and everyone versus the image I see of myself, healthy and fit, relaxed, living and eating clean, surrounding myself with all the things that I love and are beautiful to me, most of all the feeling of what I imagine. I’m finding myself doing more for myself, getting out and about more often, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the gorgeous scenery of where I live. Because it really is beautiful living in the mountains, with oak trees and English pines everywhere, it’s so pretty.
Over the past few months I’ve also had some major changes in my life. For the greater part of 9 years I have been sharing a house with my mother. For some reason, all those years I allowed myself to believe that being a sole parent put me at a disadvantage and I needed a crutch to keep me afloat. And while it was great at many times and did to a large degree allow me the financial space to enjoy some nice things in life, I decided it was time for change. I decided it was time for me to fly solo so I can create the life I had been imagining for so long. So, in short, a few months ago I moved myself and my teenage daughter into a place of our own.
I have to say that while the actual moving process was relatively smooth, my personal journey so far has been a little up and down. It has taken me some to adjust to being alone and thinking completely for myself again. Now, I do have a teenage daughter in the house, but when I say alone what I mean is, alone with my thoughts with no one to jack them up and make them better, space to myself to fill my time with good and productive things, making effort myself to organise and plan, financial planning, keeping house and all the things that come with it. I don’t think I realised how much this would affect me at the time. However, I have found that after a few months my emotions and thoughts are starting to clear and I’m starting to pave my own way. A new way.
It has given me a new sense of freedom, and drive that this is my road I am travelling now. That it all comes down to me and my creative ideas to make a great life. And slowing I am learning to remove the glass ceiling and allow myself to believe in a limitless life. I’m starting to wonder what I want to do with my life, how far I can take it and what I’m actually capable of. It’s an exciting feeling knowing that I can create what I want for my life, and when you remove the barriers or maneauver around the obstacles, The mountains you can move. It really is amazing.
Now I’ve got a long way to go and they say it’s about the journey not the destination, so instead of always being so focused on the destination only and weather I can make it, I have decided to enjoy the journey and just know in my heart that that road will lead me there. Wherever I place my thoughts is where my life will travel. I love the feeling of anything is possible, it’s exciting, it warms my heart, gives me purpose and motion. I want this for everyone . . . to feel purpose and motion.
And I strongly believe when we align ourselves with purpose and motion that the universe opens doors where we didn’t see them before. My hope is that if you are reading this, it gives you a sense of hope and belief in yourself that anything is possible, if you dare to imagine.
Until next time . . .
Justustwo xox