I was thinking today, while I was entrenched in my work, about how as a single parent its really easy to trade of your life. Let me explain a little more.
Imagine, every day going off to your job, there are bills to pay and food to buy and you tell yourself this is the best thing you can do. Maintain a secure, steady, regular working income that grants you safety of your working role, knowing that at the end of the day you can keep your head above water and enjoy the simple things in life. Knowing that as long as you keep doing what your doing, your kids will have a good, safe and happy upbringing. Especially seeing a you’re a single parent and it’s all about your income alone and what you do. Without your commitment to this job it would be all over and you’d most likely be sleeping in your car.
So what got me thinking was, what if while doing this role and providing for you and your kids, being the life blood of the family and planning for their future, you found yourself feeling ….. unfulfilled, bored, unchallenged, uncreative, wanting much more, and feeling like you were put on this planet for greater things , but your not living it at all. Ouch!! That’s a painful feeling. To put it simply … trading happiness for obligation. So lately I have been feeling a bit this way, spending hours working with thoughts running through my head. Wondering over and over again when this monotonous ride will end and I will find that passion and excitement in something. At times I feel I want to burst with creativity, but my everyday environment is so clinical. I wonder often how other women ‘make it’ and I find myself dreaming about what it must be like. At the same time feeling there must be so much more than this. Who knows, maybe I will rekindle my vlogging channel just to talk about so many topics and issues. Would you want to hear about my input and experience of single parenthood?
But I think it’s a very bittersweet place to be in life. Feeling like your on a ledge where you can either sit there and watch everyone else win, or you can take a chance and fly with them. Of course as a single parent these things take time, but I think what’s really important here, is creative expression, and lately I have really been feeling the need to really express and get out some of my thoughts about where I am on this journey, where I want to go, how on earth I’m going to get there, and how I can help others with what I’ve learnt and know to be true, but not giving up!
Stephen Hawking said this beautifully, “However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up”.
There are so many empowering, powerful, strong and creative women out there and I am often blown away by their courage and dedication to pursuing what makes them happy, @katenorthrup @gabbybernstein just to name a couple who are leading the way in life and business. I’d really like to get my hands on just some of that courage and let go of the fear that can be so destructive and paralysing.
Something I would love to do more of is connect more with other mums and women to create more of a network of support and expression. Being a single mother can be extremely isolating and demanding and it can be tough to find the time for things like networking. So if there are any mums, networks or communities out there, let me know. Leave a comment or link to your twitter , connect with me on Instagram or the platform of choice so others can also find you. If you would like to hear more, or see me upload more on my youtube channel, let me know in the comments what you would like to talk about or any particular topic in life you may be struggling with.
Until then, Big love
Justustwo xo
(image source womenonpurpose.com)