For over a week now my daughter has been sick with a cold that has really taken the wind out of her sails. She has had the temperature, the watery itchy eyes, the constantly runny nose to the point of raw, the fatigue and feeing exhausted. As a result she has been off school for the entire week and at the end of the weekend she is still fighting it off. As a working mum, I have had to be at work through all of this and it has just been my mother at home with her. And I have to say that is one thing I really dont like about being a single parent. Not being able to be there for my daughter when she is sick. I have never gotten used to it and I dont think I will ever get used to it. It never feels right to me that I have to be at work with my daughter texting me to come home because she feels sick and me having to say that I can’t and to drink some more water and get some rest. Its a horrible feeling that someone else has control over what you can and can’t do, and has control over how you care for your children. How is that fair and how is that right. And if one chooses to stay home to care for the kids, you lose out on money. It’s unfair and it’s hard. Emotionally it is a constant struggle.
After this week of her being unwell, now it’s me that has come down with this horrible cold. And it has hit me hard all weekend, to the point there will be no work for me tomorrow. I need time to recover. And so here I am, writing to you my lovely friends.
There was a time when getting sick wasn’t something I succumbed to, I was one of those people who never got sick. The very rare cold and never the flu. However, these days I feel like I’m always getting this or that and now catching this cold again I realise that my immune system is not where it should be. I’m simply not caring for myself, my body and my environment as well as I could be. Now I do admit that there are some elements that are out of my control, like, the atmosphere and how toxic it now is for everyone, and that alone, is going to weaken ones immunity. But what I’m getting at is I could be treating myself and my body as a temple.
However, my downtime has gifted me a few realisations. One, is we are omitting too much waste. You may be wondering what that has to do with anything. But, I say this because if we are omitting to much waste then we are consuming to much waste, and not enough nutritionally dense foods, or just less in general. There have been many times I have looked at my recycling bin and thought to myself, why do we have so much waste. It’s all connected. This is why we are getting unwell so easily, when you use anything out of a packet, it is not life giving and it is not feeding your life. Now that is not saying that we dont eat healthy at all, I make all our meals from scratch, but its a lack of adding extra nutrition and removing the easy and unnecessary snacks and products.
Right … moving on! … stay with me …
Basically it has helped me to re-evaluate how we live. I think there is a lot of room to make positive changes here. Some I would really like to make is to live a more minimal life. Less buying of ‘stuff’, less of filling the house with ‘stuff”. Increase more conscious buying and more conscious living. To begin with I would really like to recreate my kitchen with simply and waste free living. Eliminating waste by buying directly into bottle and jars and storing food correctly, and simply not buying as much as we ‘think’ we need. We only need the basics!. I really want to do my part to reduce our footprint and keep our bodies and the planet cleaner. And the spin … a healthier mind, body and planet. I want to lead this life by example, I want my daughter to see how to live with happiness and to also be an example in her world when I am gone. To live with intention and purpose.
I am nearly 40 and there are so many experiences I would like to enjoy, so many people I would like to help in my own unique way, sharing my purpose for being on the planet. But I want to do it from a place of authenticity, a place of honesty and truth. It’s incredible how the universe or life, if you prefer, slows us down when it has a message for us. I have realised more in the past few days than I have in the past 6-12 months. I have realised that I have become disengaged and separated from my true self and fell prey to consumerism and the desire for more. But the ‘more’ doesn’t give you more, it gives you less. Less fulfilment, less satisfaction, less feelings of happiness and joy, for me it leaves me feeling empty and with a longing for ways to fill myself back up.
To live with intention IS to live with purpose. We only live one life and I feel like I’m wasting mine. I look at it from the outside in and yes I see the comfortable home filled with stuff, the relatively modern car in the driveway, the 9-5 job that pays all my bills and give me a little spending money, the nice street in the nice area. And I realise, for what!, for what purpose? It doesn’t bring me any joy, infact, often when I look around I’m thinking to myself ‘god all this crap annoys me and I would rather live in a tiny house with just a few things’. Its not about living with more, it’s about living ‘as’ more. Being more as a person. It is such a profound realisation for me and I love the feeling it gives me, it feels filled with so much possibility and freedom.
I think its time for us all to make these profound changes, but we all need to come to it on our own and in our own way. Something needs to be stirred inside to create the ripple to flow out to others.
Society has caged us into believing that more is better. And more, And more, And more. When we let go of status, its just us that remains and to be honest, it doesn’t take much to maintain the essentials.
I feel like I’m on the beginning of an incredible journey.